The Truth About Sororities

I debated writing this post for a couple weeks now after a friend mentioned to me that she thought it would be helpful to a lot of girls on the fence about joining. Mind you, I dropped my sorority in the spring of '17, so I wasn't sure that it would be appropriate of me to give my opinion on a scene I chose to leave. However, this is my blog, and it is made for my thoughts and those who want to hear them. So in light of that I will be discussing my journey with joining a sorority, being in one, and dropping one. For the sake of keeping this from being taken out of context or directed at anyone, I will keep the names of girls and my sorority anonymous.

Going into my freshman year of college, I was having a hard time making the decision to sign up for sorority recruitment or to not. After talking to a few people, I decided to sign up. I was coming from an out of state school and knew nobody at UofL so it seemed like a logical decision. Getting ready for rush week as a PNM (potential new member) was exciting and nerve wracking beyond belief. I went into the beginning of the week hoping to find that sisterhood aspect that everybody boasted about. Going through recruitment at UofL was everything I more or less expected it to be. The conversations were forced, you were more or less grilled in the most low key way possible, and yet everyone seemed so friendly. Let's put it this way, everyone had game faces on whether they were PNM's or actives. The houses/ suites were all decorated beautifully and though it was stressful, recruitment was also a lot of fun. Whether you were in the houses or not you were constantly meeting other girls and making new friends. I met one of my best friends today just standing in line, shoutout to Andi.

When girls got sorted into their houses (low key Harry Potter reference) and everyone officially had their "new home" it was really time to start mingling. While it was less stressful because you finally had an official destination, it was still overwhelming due to the fact you now had 150 girls to try and talk to/ become friends with/ etc. At first, I loved being in my sorority, mainly the first semester. Thats when everyone is being super nice to each other coming off the high that is rush week. You learn all about your sorority, you become close to your pledge class, and you start searching for your big. I was fortunate to have an amazing pledge class with genuinely kind girls. I also happened to find my incredible big, who I can honestly say even after dropping (we both dropped) will be a lifelong friend. I would often text my parents, who were paying for my sorority, how thankful I was that I joined that sorority. However, after the first semester it all started to go downhill for me.

Second semester of freshman year was the beginning of the end of my sorority experience. I was starting to see more of the judgmental, harsh, mean girl side of things that people had warned me about. Don't get me wrong, not everyone in my sorority was this terrible person, I still know and genuinely like a solid amount of them. I just started to feel like things were becoming very petty and I am a very much a "you do you" type of girl. My social media became the biggest problem to my sorority. Which I understand that not everybody is going to like me or like what I post or think or so on and everyone is entitled to those decisions. However, I was starting to receive an extreme amount of negativity from the leaders of the sorority as well as fellow girls. My cleavage was too offensive (in my Hooters uniform...), I'm such a nice girl they don't understand why I would portray myself like that, why wouldn't I just delete the pictures they didn't like and so on. A bathing suit picture was the end of the world and I truly did not understand that concept. I got sent to standards one time for posting a picture in my Hooters uniform... my parents know I work there and have been nothing but supportive, yet a group of random girls decided it was inappropriate of me to wear that to work/ post a picture in it. I had more rules in college than I ever did living at home the past 18 years, and that's with me going to a Catholic private school for high school. There were also obligations that I didn't always have time for and they didn't understand. There were punishments and fines for every little thing and after a while it made me feel less inclined to go to any events given the fact that I just felt so disconnected from a lot of the girls at that point. I felt as though if you weren't in a clique with the then EC council then they really didn't have time for you or need you. With all of that being said, there were several girls who were beyond kind, fun, sisterly, etc. Dropping was one of the hardest decisions, but I am beyond glad I left. This is just my experience with my sorority, I know other girls who love their sororities and couldn't imagine leaving. Overall, would I recommend joining a sorority? Yes, just so that you can see for yourself if it is for you. I made most of my college girl friends during rush week and in my sorority and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I would also say, don't let a group of girls tell you who to be or what to be or where to go or what to wear, really just don't lose yourself trying to fit into someone else's standards. I've never been the type of girl to mold myself based off others, so I honestly wasn't made to be in a sorority, or at least not the one I chose.

*The picture below is a group of girls and I that I am so grateful my sorority brought together.

**If you do know my past sorority or anybody/ situations referenced, please know it is in the past for everyone involved. There is no ill will on either side and I will not tolerate or acknowledge any negativity towards them or myself, that is not what this was posted for.

XOXO,

Haley